just me thinkin...outloud

All I do lately is think...think about the baby, how tired I am, how I am convinced that my due date must be wrong..I feel huuugggeee!!! how much Jason needs to find a job (one where he can actually use his degree and put to use all the money we spent with him going to school).

Jason was let go in (sorta) in December 09. Since then we've been off. Once husbands go get a job, They are not meant to be home! He gets in my space, I get in his, he does things different and it makes my head spin. He has been working when the "weather is nice"..gotta love landscaping. I hate seeing him so down, and frankly it's getting me down too. Being preggers isn't helping things either. I feel like if I wasn't preggers maybe we could move somewhere else and he could find a job?..he's had about 5 or 6 interviews that he has been excited about, one in Portland, and just yesterday he drove 5 hrs to Prosser, Washington for another one. He called me as soon as he walked out of it, and said, Babe, you'd hate it here. Literally the place where he would be working, is 40 miles away from even a small town...and we would have to live in a mobile home, on a farm. HAHAHA , would that ever happen! he just gets so excited about the prospect of a job, and then he doesn't like it...ahhhh!!!! If anything, when he left the interview they gave him a $30 bottle of wine. haha

I am totally blabbing, not making any sense huh?!?! sorry..don't read if you don't want to.

I was hoping that he would hear back from an interview he had here in Meridian last week, but nothing yet. There are so many people without jobs, that when when a good one comes along, there are a million people that apply to the same position, just gets old. I pray every day, 100 times a day that he will find something, right for us, when the time is right. All I keep getting is that I need to be patient, and it will happen when it's supposed too. I know, Heavenly Father's time..not mine..but doesn't he know we have a baby coming in like 2.5 months?..diapers aren't going to fall out of the sky! All I know I can do is try to be positive, and encouraging for both Jay and I. I don't know how strong I can be when everything keeps falling through.

Then there is the fact that Jason wants to start his own thing. He has has a business license for 2 yrs now. He needs a truck, trailer, and a mower, and he could be off doing his own thing...what bank in their mind, would give a business loan to someone who was making 1/2 what he was 6 months ago. So that goes out the window. Come on, big buy..make a truck fall from the sky..please!! It will Cheer my husband up...alot!

ok, I feel like I could write for another hour and just vent, but alas...Harper is getting into trouble..maybe more later...